Thank You for Grabbing Me in Time
There comes a moment when you realize just how close you were to losing yourself.
Last night, I had one of those moments.
And somehow some way Gary Payton showed up right on time. Whether you understand it, believe it, or question it doesn’t matter. What matters is this: I felt seen in a moment where I was spiraling. I was confused. Disoriented. Overwhelmed by everything surrounding this latest chapter in my life.
I needed grounding and I got it.
Let me be clear for the record:
I am a great employee. I do a great job. I show up, I perform, and I produce results.
But there are two things you will never get away with when it comes to me:
1. Making sexual suggestions.
2. Playing with my money.
Everything else? On a good day, if my money is right, I might ignore the ignorance. But when disrespect, inappropriate behavior, and financial manipulation collide there is no conversation left to have. That’s my cue to walk away.
And I will walk away.
Another thing if you hire me for one role, keep it that way. Don’t move the goalpost after I’ve already stepped onto the field. Sales is sales. Customer service is customer service. Don’t blur the lines and then try to hold me accountable for confusion you created.
Anyone who truly knows me understands this:
I seek base pay plus commission because I take care of myself. I’ve earned that standard.
What hurts the most isn’t the job it’s the realization that I was willfully recruited into a situation that felt like a setup. Mind games. Pressure that didn’t feel organic. Anxiety that didn’t feel normal.
I cannot fully explain the panic I felt just getting ready for work only to later realize the pressure may have been intentional.
That’s not brilliance.
That’s not science.
That’s manipulation.
That’s a narcissistic need for control.
And when you recognize it for what it is you walk away.
Because one truth I stand on, and will continue to stand on, is this:
All money ain’t good money.
Right now, my focus is simple:
I need to close out old business before stepping into anything new. I refuse to carry chaos into my next chapter. Stability is not optional it’s necessary.
I’m sleeping through the night again.
I still have moments of panic but I’m getting better. Stronger. Clearer.
And for that, I’m grateful.
Gary… you answered when I needed it most. Before the game, before the noise, before the world could interrupt that moment mattered more than you know.
And if people can question how messages travel, how connections happen, or how energy moves well, I’ll just say this: creativity doesn’t need permission to exist.
Just ask Jonathan Jackson sometimes the message speaks for itself. He seriously put his phone on the podium, while I was texting... #really
As for everything else politics, public figures, influence I’m stepping away from those conversations entirely. With the passing of Jesse Jackson Sr., and everything surrounding Pope Francis, I’ve made a personal decision:
My relationship with prayer is mine.
My thoughts are mine.
My spiritual walk is mine.
And I expect that to be respected without influence, without pressure, without interference.
I’m healing.
I’m choosing peace.
And I’m choosing me every single time.
