There are five major types of thinking skills that I have been reflecting on lately:
- Critical thinking — judging information using logic, evidence, and clear reasoning rather than assumptions.
- Analytical thinking — breaking complex situations down into smaller pieces so they can be understood.
- Creative thinking — looking at circumstances from different perspectives and finding new ways to respond.
- Problem-solving — identifying practical solutions when challenges arise.
- Metacognition — thinking about my own thinking, examining my reactions, recognizing potential biases, and questioning whether I am seeing a situation as clearly as possible.
Right now, I am using my metacognition skills.
And when I step back and examine the facts of my professional life, one thing continues to stand out:
I know who I am as a worker.
If you've ever worked with me, you already know.
I am disciplined. I am dependable. I am effective.
I am the employee who reports to work 15–20 minutes early.
I don't drive, so getting to work early is part of how I prepare myself for the day. I get my drinks. I make my restroom stop. I set up my computer. I check my phone and work updates. I make sure I am mentally and physically prepared before my shift begins.
Then I am ready to work.
That isn't something I suddenly started doing.
Anyone who has worked with me can speak to that pattern.
I Am a Team Player
I am also the person who notices when someone else is struggling.
If I see a coworker having a difficult day, struggling with a system, dealing with a difficult customer, or simply needing encouragement, I am usually the person who stops and says:
"You've got this. Keep going."
I have built a reputation around producing results and then helping other people produce theirs.
I make my numbers.
Then I help somebody else make theirs.
Sometimes, I have been too helpful.
And that is something I have had to learn about myself.
Being helpful does not mean being weak.
Being compassionate does not mean being easy to manipulate.
Being a team player does not mean someone has permission to take advantage of me.
I Am a Money Maker
Make no mistake about it:
I am a money maker.
When I look for call-center opportunities, I deliberately seek positions with a respectable base salary and uncapped commission because I understand how to monetize my skills.
Once I understand the compensation structure, the sales metrics, the products, the conversion expectations, and the commission plan, I create my own strategy.
My personal goal has typically been between $750 and $1,000 per week in commission, depending on the position, contract, product, and compensation structure.
My average call can run approximately 15–20 minutes depending on the account and customer need.
My adherence has historically been 85% or better.
My phone etiquette is one of my strengths.
I understand sales.
I understand retention.
I understand customer service.
I understand escalation management.
And most importantly, I understand that a company's revenue is connected to the people answering those phones.
When I exceed daily, weekly, and monthly sales expectations, everybody benefits.
That is why I have difficulty understanding how someone can look at a worker with a demonstrated history of producing results and decide that the worker is the problem.
This Is Where Metacognition Becomes Important
I have to ask myself difficult questions.
Was I perfect?
No.
Am I capable of making mistakes?
Absolutely.
Could I have handled certain situations differently?
Probably.
But those questions have to be applied consistently.
Metacognition requires me to examine my own behavior, but it also requires me to examine the behavior of the people around me.
It requires me to ask:
What actually happened?
What evidence exists?
What was documented?
What was reported?
What was recorded?
Who witnessed what?
What changed after I raised concerns?
And what explanation best fits the available evidence?
Those are uncomfortable questions.
But they are necessary questions.
My Employment Experience Has Left Me Asking More Questions
This is not the first time I have found myself questioning the treatment I received while working for a company connected to the same corporate ownership structure.
I have described these experiences in connection with my EEOC complaint and related employment concerns.
The issues I have raised include my allegations of discrimination, retaliation, harassment, hostile treatment, and concerns surrounding disability accommodation and protected activity.
I am not asking anyone to blindly accept my version of events.
I am asking people to understand why I believe the circumstances deserve to be examined carefully.
At one point, I was pulled into a private meeting that I experienced as degrading and intimidating.
The interaction became so hostile from my perspective that I felt bullied, pressured, and threatened with the possibility of losing a role that I genuinely enjoyed.
I ultimately recorded part of an interaction because I felt I needed a record of what was happening.
That decision was not made casually.
When someone believes their employment is being placed at risk and feels that their account may later be questioned, documentation becomes extremely important.
Then There Is the Question of Disability
How would you feel if you believed that something affecting you medically and psychologically was documented, discussed, and known by people around you yet you still felt as though nobody wanted to acknowledge what you were experiencing?
That question has stayed with me.
Disability discrimination is not something I take lightly.
Under federal law, disability can be a protected characteristic, and disability-related employment claims can involve complicated questions concerning accommodation, discrimination, retaliation, qualification for the position, and the employer's knowledge of the disability.
That is precisely why I believe these matters should be evaluated based on documentation and evidence rather than assumptions about a person's character.
I was advised to obtain an EEOC Right-to-Sue notice.
After doing so, I approached an attorney about my situation, but the attorney ultimately declined to take my case.
That was disappointing.
But rejection by an attorney does not automatically mean that nothing happened.
It means that particular attorney did not take the case.
Those are two very different things.
Then Life Outside of Work Collided With Everything Else
My professional experiences cannot be separated completely from what I have lived through personally.
The death of Officer Adbenabi affected me deeply.
Violence is not an abstract subject to me.
I lost my son to gun violence in Chicago.
He was not the stereotype people might imagine when they hear about a young person being killed.
He had once been a straight-A honor-roll student.
He was my child.
And losing a child under violent circumstances changes you.
There are memories that do not simply disappear because you have to go to work the next morning.
There are moments that remain permanently attached to you.
Then Came the Threatening Messages
Approximately two weeks ago, I began receiving random threatening text messages.
Some of the most disturbing messages contained photographs involving my oldest son and images depicting severe violence.
Those messages triggered memories and emotions connected to the trauma I have already experienced.
For me, this was not entertainment.
It was not gossip.
It was not somebody simply "messing around."
It was deeply disturbing.
I also began feeling as though events referenced in messages were playing out around me in real time when I walked to the local store — essentially the only place I routinely go.
I have reported experiencing this as frightening and destabilizing.
One particularly disturbing message involved a threat to "SWAT" me.
Then, approximately a week later, I learned about the shooting and ambush involving an LVMPD officer.
For someone already carrying the trauma of losing a child to gun violence, events like that can be profoundly triggering.
I am not claiming that one event proves another event was connected.
I am saying that the sequence intensified my fear and trauma.
There is a difference.
And that difference matters.
Walking Around With Memories Nobody Else Can See
One of the hardest things to explain about trauma is that other people may see you walking down the street, going to work, buying groceries, answering a telephone, laughing, or conducting business.
They see the outside.
They don't necessarily see what is happening inside.
I remember losing my son.
I remember the violence.
I remember holding him in my arms while his brains spilled in my hands.
I remember the aftermath.
Those memories do not simply become irrelevant because the calendar moves forward.
And when something happens that reminds me of that loss, the emotional response can be immediate.
That is why I use the word triggered.
Not because I am trying to excuse anything.
Because I am trying to explain something.
I Have Also Raised Concerns About Other People
I have publicly discussed allegations involving individuals whom I believe have contributed to my trauma and harassment.
I have also expressed concerns about whether certain events involving me were properly investigated.
Those are serious allegations.
I understand the difference between an allegation and a proven fact.
I understand that people accused of wrongdoing have the right to deny the allegations and respond for themselves.
But I also have the right to describe what I experienced, what I reported, what I believe happened, and how those experiences affected me.
My story does not become meaningless simply because someone disputes it.
So I Come Back to Metacognition
This is where I have to stop.
Breathe.
Think.
Separate facts from assumptions.
Separate evidence from emotion.
Separate what I know from what I believe.
Separate what I personally witnessed from what somebody else told me.
And ask myself:
What is within my control?
I can control how I document things.
I can control how I communicate.
I can control whether I preserve evidence.
I can control whether I seek appropriate legal or professional assistance.
I can control whether I continue building my businesses.
I can control whether I show up professionally.
I can control whether I continue being the woman who gets up every morning and goes to work.
What I cannot control is what another person chooses to say about me.
I cannot control whether someone believes me.
I cannot control whether an attorney accepts my case.
I cannot control whether an employer acknowledges wrongdoing.
But I can control what I do next.
So Let Me Ask You Something
Imagine being judged primarily by the worst moment of your life.
Imagine losing your child.
Imagine trying to continue working while carrying grief that most people cannot see.
Imagine receiving frightening messages that bring those memories back.
Imagine feeling that your workplace, which once represented an opportunity to succeed, has suddenly become a source of fear and humiliation.
Imagine being told to document what is happening.
Imagine documenting it.
Imagine seeking help.
And then imagine still feeling like nobody wants to hear you.
Now ask yourself:
How would you feel if you were walking in my shoes?
I am not asking you to agree with every conclusion I have reached.
I am asking you to think critically.
Look at the evidence.
Question assumptions.
Recognize the difference between allegations and facts.
Consider the possibility that there may be more than one side to a complicated story.
And most importantly, understand that sometimes the person who appears to be "strong" is carrying an enormous amount of weight that nobody else can see.
I am still here.
Still working.
Still building.
Still thinking.
Still questioning.
Still documenting.
Still learning.
And still using one of the most important skills I possess:
Metacognition the ability to examine my own thinking while refusing to stop thinking altogether.
Because at the end of the day, I know who I am.
I am not my trauma.
I am not someone else's accusation.
I am not someone else's version of my story.
I am a woman who has survived difficult circumstances, built a professional reputation, continued working, continued creating, and continues to demand that her experiences be examined through evidence rather than assumptions. Ok
So again, I ask:
How would you feel if you were walking in my shoes?
